Windsor 2’s vs Royal Ascot (not that one though)
Jag lost the coin flip and despite his best efforts to ingratiate himself with the Ascot skipper returned to his band of warriors to declare “we are fielding”. This was met with 9 groans and 1 Bermudian squeak of delight. The skipper really is a very poor but prolific tosser and needs to work on this aspect of his game in the off season.
The Bermudian Bean started poorly throwing down 5 wides down the leg side to get Ascot off to the ideal start. However the last three weeks of the season have seen the return to form of the big train conductor and he got to his final destination with figures of 2-14. The old ticket collector was ably supported by the impressive Mubarak who bowled a tight but fruitless off stump line during his first spell. However the left armed apprentice returned at the backend of the innings to finish with a well deserved 2-34.
bowled a solid spell ending with figures of 2-48, helped by a switching of sides. Brooker who has toiled well in the hardest parts of the innings all season, showing why he has been trusted to do the dirty work.
Windsor were ticking on nicely their fielding led by the ever youthful, human hoover Alex Hill. Tazzer sets a high standard and for while his team mates mirrored his effervescent performance. However out of nowhere the façade of competence was broken by a disastrous piece of fielding muntfuckery which saw the non-striking Batsman barbeque himself only to be whipped off the flames at the last minute as Bean lobbed the ball over the head of Captain Jag allowing the fortunate Burger of Ascot to get back to his ground.
throughout the Season Barbra hah had an issue with the following cricketing riddle. 40 overs / 8 overs per player = 5 Bowlers, but one has to bowl both ends. This sphinx-esque conundrum has troubled Jag several times.
If you only want to use 5 bowlers you have to master the art of shuffling. Jag only wanted to use 5 bowlers; he just doesn’t know how to shuffle… And so despite the repeated prompting of his senior players that he was cocking it up again he was happy to leave himself to bowl the last 4 overs of the Ascot innings, having correctly identified one end but leaving 2 short of the other. Fortunately the majestic Vinay Vasita was on hand, bowling his first spell of the summer, to be the sixth man and deal his skipper out of trouble taking the final wicket of the innings – Ascot closing on 165, with the help of some generous wides that were the source of much contention between the sides.
At 12-0 it looked simple – Windsor were cruising. At 18-4 the ship was in trouble, again.
1. Nobsey was out stumped wandering around out of his ground when the stumps were
broken – Clueless
2. Chuckles missed another straight one – Unsatisfactory
3. Wally played on the back foot on a Windsor deck and was (unsurprisingly) bowled – Naive
4. Taz LBW – Unfortunate
However Kashif Malik and Vinay steadied the listing Windsor boat, and through fine stroke play guided Windsor to 92 before Kashif was bowled for a hard grafted 27. Vasita followed a little after for 41, bowled by
Parry. Vinay who really needed a knock having been on 2 golden ducks coming into the game showed how mental discipline and a bit of class can help you over come. Vinay was also keen to credit Kashif for keeping his head focussed on the task throughout.
And, as it has on a number of occasions this year, it was left to Smith and Bhabra to man the bilge pumps and get Windsor to port. The pair muscled the total along to 153 before Bhabra inexplicably walked after being bowled by what was adjudged by Umpire Chorley to be a waist high no-ball. Bhabra, who all season has been putting out fires between sides, saw an opportunity to quell the flames. Chuckles, who had very unfairly been taking stick from Ascot, who failed to understand that just if it hits the pad doesn’t mean it’s out, and was unjustly being labelled a cheat. However, Chorley did get one wrong, and the opposition erupted which gave Jag little option but to walk with 8 needed. Bhabra leaving on 31 off 23.